that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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