I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
