I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
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using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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