There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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