I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Randomize
