I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
