He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
