So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
