I hope mine doesn't look like that
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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