He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize