The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
