I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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