My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Randomize
