Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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