4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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