shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize