Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
