so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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