Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
