Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
