You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
