I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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