You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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