why didn't you poke me back
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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