Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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