Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
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we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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