so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
The air taste purple.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
