She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
