i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
