This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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