Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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