Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
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You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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