she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
