Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
