Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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