I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
