Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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