i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
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I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
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where are my pants?
in the oven.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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