STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize