I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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