If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
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