i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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