wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
