I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Terrible idea I love it
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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