and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Come on in and take your pants off
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