I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
