Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
