Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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