No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
