Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
