Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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