4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
