wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Randomize
