I puked a lego.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
