We're facebook friends in real life
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
