Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
This toilet bowl is my home.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
