I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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