THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
