apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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