So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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