Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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