your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
