Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
