I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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